For years, parents have been warned about the dangers of
overscheduling their kids. Critics of overscheduling say that it leads to
stress and burnout. But is that true for all young people?
Laura Vanderkam's op-ed in The Wall Street Journal, The Myth of the Overscheduled Child, argues that many kids like being challenged and busy—and often, it's good for
them. Like many of us, students are happiest when they throw themselves into
meaningful projects such as practicing with a sports team to improve their
game, or performing independent computer science research. They enjoy making
progress toward their goals.
In USA Today's College All-Stars Gifted in Class and Beyond, plenty of examples are provided of gifted college students who excel not only
in academics, but also in outside interests. The college students profiled in
the article keep busy with hobbies, sports, and community service, and they all
juggle these activities efficiently.
Perhaps the success of a highly scheduled child is at least
partially due to his or her ability to self-regulate. Self-regulation is the ability to stop, think, make a plan, and control
one’s impulses. These skills are necessary for success in school and in life.
They can also help a young person manage a busy existence. After all, the
ability to control one’s impulses is critical for choosing constructive
projects over nonconstructive activities. The capacity to problem solve is also
essential to productively organizing those activities.
Certain widespread practices of modern parenting don't help
older children learn to master themselves. We hate to see children make
mistakes or, worse, fail, and so rather than challenge children and teens to
self-regulate, parents often choose to make decisions themselves and “rescue”
young people from their mistakes. Parents often "help" their kids
with science fair projects, and check their homework before it's turned in.
Rather than allow kids to plan their own course of study, they mark kids' tests
on the parents’ calendars. When a child forgets her homework, well-meaning moms
and dads race to school with the forgotten assignments. It would probably be
more helpful to coach the child to solve her own problems. Helping one’s child
so much may have positive immediate outcomes, but in the long run the self-regulation
skills of kids are undermined.
Perhaps by improving self-regulation in children, overscheduling
does not become an issue; instead, young people are able to fit a variety of
challenging academic, community, and personal interests into tight schedules. We
can feel confident that our kids will understand how to do this in a positive,
satisfying manner.
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