Overprotection of Gifted Students

Formula for Social Emotional Disaster: I+S+O=SED Cubed:Intensity plus Sensitivity plus Overprotection equals Social Emotional Disaster in the Duke TIP Digest of Gifted Research offers insights for parents.

While the primary role and responsibility of parents is to protect their children from physical, social, and emotional harm, author Debra Troxclair believes that parents of gifted children tend to have a propensity for overprotection.

Gifted children often

• are very sensitive to the expectations of others, causing them to feel different.
• have a strong sense of idealism and justice.
• have high expectations of themselves and others, sometimes causing frustration.
• possess strong emotional depth and intensity.
• are sensitive to inconsistency between ideals and behaviors.

Since it can be very difficult for parents to watch their children struggle with these traits, the adults may automatically and unconsciously step in to make their kids feel better—the exact opposite of what is needed.

There are two types of overprotective parents:

• indulgent—characterized by guilty, anxious parental attachment
• controlling—characterized by high supervision, discouraging independent behavior

One thing that can be especially detrimental to a child is overhearing parents point out errors made by teachers, principals, and school districts. Hearing these comments can cause the young person to become confused about the natural balance of roles, giving the child too much power.

When coming to a child’s aid, parents need to consider if they are really meeting the needs of their youngster or if they are instead trying to satisfy their own fears.